Marriage takes work, oh yes, work. You cannot expect two people of different genders from different backgrounds and so many more differences to simply jell and ride along. There will be spikes, suprises, challenges, uncertainities and so much more. That said, the pains that these will bring your way can be softened if we can…..
Marry right: Do you love marital bliss? Marry right. How? Marry in the Lord. Marry your kind. You are a believer, marry a believer! Why? So you can speak the same language, obey the same Lord and Master. When the husband says; “As a woman you must be submissive in all”, the woman won’t say, “No way! We are equal! You can’t be my head!”
Secondly, in obedience to God. The word of God says: do not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. Marry your friend! Who is your friend? Someone that understands you. Someone that will play with you. Someone that can take your misbehaviour as nothing. Someone that will see you as his or her mate. You will not marry your enemies in Jesus’ name.
Love one another: Love is not just a feeling, though it may start out as a feeling, it is the reality of marriage; it is accepting, enduring, and forgiving one another. If your love remains just a feeling, it can only start a relationship but cannot make a home and marriage.
Marriage tests your love for one another. All the ‘I love you’ you have said, will be tested in marriage.
Forgive: Offence will always come, even the unexpected, always forgive and forget the past. Anything whatsoever can cause disagreement between couples. Don’t push offence under the carpet! Discuss it and forgive one another.
Behave like nothing happened after you have settled it! Don’t bring up a past offence. I can’t count how many times I have offended my wife, or she has offended me. But when we resolve, it has become our past.
Don’t let your disagreement linger more than necessary. Forgive in time, whatsoever! Have this aim in your mind that your disagreement will not tear you apart but will build you up. Learn from your disagreements.
Give: Give your all to one another. Give your time, money, food, clothing, body and all you have to one another even when it is not convenient. What you have is for both of you. Giving solidifies relationships and marriage. It enhances love. Give time to time, give every day, give occasionally. A giver is always a lover!
Do not keep secrets: Open your heart fully to one another. Secrets when found hurt your partner too deeply, and can lead to other things, even divorce. Be open as much as possible. There is really no secret. All shall be opened one day!
Disallow third party negative influence: Offence will come from friends and family. Always stay together as one. Don’t allow third-party influence to affect your family bond negatively.
If you need help, it is better to consult a God-led counsellor together or individually, instead of telling friends and family who may take sides and make the situation worse.
Help one another: Do not see anything as your partner’s duty. When your partner needs your help in any capacity you can, HELP! At home, share house chores! Share responsibilities. Share bills. If you are a woman and you are financially capable, do not wait for your husband to beg you. Do the right things at home. Bear challenges together. Do not let your partner feel any weight when you are not carrying anything. You are there to help!
Always do things together: This keeps your closeness. Plan, Eat, Sleep, Play, Pray, Bath, Work and Go out together. Create time for it. Have fun together. There is nothing we don’t do together in my marriage. Be together, and stay together. Be united!
Keep your secret secret: Be loyal to one another and keep your secret with one another. Don’t tell your partner’s secret to anyone.
Have one family: See your families as one, even when you think they are not good. Otherwise, it will build up division in the home. Each of you may want to support his or her family. This will keep separating your own home.