It is often said that once a man gets his wife, the pursuit is done; he is off to the next adventure. On the other hand, the woman is a nurturer but it is only a matter of time before she throws in the towel because she cannot give what she does not receive.
It thus of essence that we learn to increase the value of one another, in marriage.
1. Think value: It all starts in the mind for the Bible says in Prov 23:7: “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”. When you look at your spouse, what comes to mind? We will disregard what there is at the moment and focus on either changing that image for better or improving it. It is imperative that we think value because whether we like it or not, your spouse is valuable. Granted, things might have changed in the past years but with some patience, we can mine up the lost gems.
Acting values also looks at the time you accord your spouse. Are you the kind that wants them to rush through what they are saying because you have important things to do? You might want to change that because when all those things are done, it is this person you will come back to. It will be sad if they also got other things to do.
Even the way you touch them says a lot about how you value them. A hug, a peck, a pat at the back are all beautiful ways to touch your spouse. No, we do not entertain slaps or beatings; that form of touch is a no no.
Acknowledging what your spouse does is another act of value. Appreciating the way they are dressed, the food they cooked and any milestone in their life shows that you are watching and care enough to celebrate them or even give them the push they need. Marriage is sweeter when we know that our spouse’s thoughts towards are those that portray how valuable we are to them.
2. Speak value: There is immense power in words because, with words we create.
Proverbs 15: 1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but hard words stir up anger.”
Proverbs 15:4 “Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”
Are your words devaluing or adding value to your marriage? Are they building up your spouse or tearing them to shreds? Tell them they are valuable, appreciate the work they have done. It is important to learn to ‘make noise’ about the good, even in public while talking about the disappointments in the secrecy of your bedroom. It is great that you blow the trumpet for your spouse because it is them that will have your baack when all are gone.
Act value: The saying goes, actions speak louder than words. Moreover, God has called us to be kind and considerate to our spouses. Make a choice to focus on their strengths rather than their weaknesses.
The short of it is this, “What does my partner need?” should be your daily goal. That calls for reverse thinking – “How can I serve my husband/wife?” We were never created to act on feelings but be intentional.
When valuing your spouse, practice leaving, practice cleaving and practice becoming because it’s more blessed to Give than receive.
God calls the man to Leave and begin something new ..a new family..new identity..a new name
lead with love